I said, NO SOLICITING!

NO SOLICITING.

-Yes, that means you too.

-We don't need your products or services. Yes, I'm sure.

-That means don't come in here trying to sell me something. I promise, we don't want it.

-And we're not hiring, either. How do I know? Because 90% of the company has been laid off in the past 6 months, including me. Twice.

-No endeavoring to help us save money through your company's services, no matter how great the pitch may sound to you.

-And I really do mean it. We don't want any. Go away.

Maybe it is because it's the summer now, and the nature of many summer jobs includes door-to-door sales. Maybe it is the poor economy and people lacking better employment. But in the past few weeks, it is just insane how many people have come into my office trying to sell stuff. I made a sign and put it on the door that says "No Soliciting" but I've been tempted many times to add all the stuff above just to clarify, because people don't seem to get it.

There is a huge glass window that I can see from my desk and so I see all these people come up the stairs, look at the sign on the door, and come in anyway.

One time I was on the phone in kind of a tense conversation trying to convince my employer to pay me (another story) and two guys came up, read the sign, and came in. They just stood there waiting for me---and I just kept on talking on the phone and ignored them, until they finally went away after standing there for at least 5 minutes.

Another time a guy came in trying to sell office supplies (after reading the no soliciting sign)

shortened version of the conversation:
Dude: Can I please speak with your office manager?
me: We don't have one.
Dude: (look of confusion)
me: We just had a bunch of layoffs and she's no longer here
Dude: So who is in charge here?
me: I don't know.
Dude: So, when you need to order more paper, what do you do?
me: I don't know...we haven't needed to order any yet.
Dude: So would you order the supplies?
me: No. I don't really work here. (I work in the office, but not for that company)
Dude: (look of confusion) Well, let me just tell you a little about our company...blah blah blah
me: (for the 32nd time) We're really not interested. We've probably office supplies that will last longer than the company will.
Dude: Oh. Ummm. Well, maybe I'll try coming back in a few weeks.

Today's experience would have been really funny if it wasn't a little creepy. Guy comes walking up the stairs & hallway, holding on to his pants to keep them from falling of his rear end. He looks at the sign on the door and comes in anyway. I've got a Pam desk (from The Office) and people generally stay outside of my area. This guy walks right in, walks around my desk and comes back to my space, and sets down his bottle of magic cure-and-clean-everything-in-the-world citrus cleaner. He starts to give a little spiel about it and wants to spray my computer monitor. Usually I have a little more patience and am a little nicer with these people, but this guy's pants were falling off in my space.

Very shortened version of conversation:

me: We're not interested.

Home Boy: I'm not soliciting anything here.

me: You're not? Do you know what soliciting means?
Home Boy: uhhhhh

me: It means selling stuff.

Home Boy: Oh.

Me: Are you selling stuff?
Home Boy: Naw, man...

Me: So you're giving it away for free?
Home Boy: I'm just trying to tell you what's in my heart
me: I'm going to have to ask you to leave
him: but it's my 5th day in this contest
me: I'm sorry, please leave
Home Boy: can you smell the citrus cleaner? don't it smell good?
me: no, I can't smell it.
Home Boy: is your boss in?
me: he's not interested either
Home Boy: how do you know?
me: please leave. We have a no soliciting policy
Home Boy: you do? now that's deep, man ...but this is from my heart
me: I'm sorry

(he was starting to creep me out getting closer and closer)
Home Boy: I'm not soliciting. I've got ID from the state
me: You're selling things. That is soliciting. Please leave. Now.